How do We Tell the Children? - Hardcover

Schaefer, Dan

4.06

16 ratings by Goodreads

9780937858608: How do We Tell the Children?

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0937858609 ISBN 13: 9780937858608

Publisher: Newmarket Press, 1986

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In the painful, confusing time following a death, the problem of what and how to tell the children is one of the most difficult a parent can face. In this important parenting guide, author Dan Schaefer shares his 25 years of experience helping parents communicate with their children. HOW DO WE TELL THE CHILDREN? provides the straightforward, uncomplicated language that will explain the facts of death to children from 2 years old to teenagers, and shows how to help children cope with their feelings of grief, fear, and loss. Its commonsense approach is based on years of observation and conversations with thousands of parents and their toddlers, preschoolers, young children, and adolescents, and it includes insights from numerous psychologists, psychiatrists, educators, and clergy. A unique feature of the book is a Crisis Section that gives parents quick reference to key pieces of information, as well as answers to questions about special situations such as accidents, suicide, and sudden

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From Library Journal:

Parents of children living in an era of assassination, air disaster, and space tragedy need this clear, extremely readable guide to helping their kids deal with death. Schaefer, a funeral director and lecturer, and Lyons, a journalist, quote many psychologists and social workers as they discuss areas like children's reactions (anger, guilt, responsibility) to murder, suicide, and SID; to attending the funeral; and to the normal biological "message" of death ("wore out"). They stress flexibility and age-related needs and also provide a useful crisis section, but they might have omitted statements like "death is a form of abandonment" and "the greatest denial is a closed casket." Otherwise, highly recommended. Bibliography and list of support groups not seen. Janice Arenofsky, formerly with Arizona State Lib., Phoenix
Copyright 1986 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Publishers Weekly:

Parents often find it difficult to talk with their children when death occurs in the family. Brooklyn, N.Y., funeral director Schaefer and journalist Lyons bring their combined experience to bear on such delicate moments. Emphasizing reliance on biological explanation (e.g., "His body stopped working") rather than on fantasies or euphemism ("He's asleep"), the authors present "communication contracts" that parents may incorporate into a family blueprint for children at various age levels. Drawing on the research of psychologists and other counselors, they offer scenarios for children through the adolescent years to help them accept loss and express grief. Parents should find their concepts helpful.
Copyright 1986 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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