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Being undead can be disorienting. Your arms and other appendages tend to rot and fall off. It’s difficult to communicate with a vocabulary limited to moans and gurgles. And that smell! (Yes, it’s you.) But most of all, you must constantly find and ingest human brains. Braaaains!!!
What’s a zombie to do?
Thankfully, zombiologist John Austin details everything you need to know, as a newly undead soul, to hunt, fight, and feed on the living. As the first handbook written specifically for the undead, So Now You’re a Zombie explains how you ended up in this predicament, the stages of zombification, and what you need to survive in this zombiphobic world. Dozens of helpful diagrams outline attack strategies, such as the Ghoul Reach, the Flanking Zack, the Bite Hold, and the Aerial Fall, to secure your human prey. You’ll even learn how to successfully extract the living from boarded up farmhouses and broken down vehicles.
This handbook also explores the upside of being a zombie. Gone are the burdens of employment, taxes, social networks, even basic hygiene, allowing you to focus on simple necessities in “life”: the juicy gray matter found in the skulls of the living.
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About the Author:
John Austin is the author of MiniWeapons of Mass Destruction, Cubical Warfare, and Prank University. For more information, visit http://www.johnaustinbooks.com/zombie.html
From Publishers Weekly:
There is more to undeath than shambling around in search of brains to eat, but not much more, according to this short but detailed look at the new zombie, or œzed, lifestyle. Filled with deadpan tips on how to succeed in the coming zombie apocalypse, it covers the basics of caring for decomposing flesh ( œIf you experience an extreme freeze... your extremities should continue to function until they fall off ), practical suggestions for overcoming obstacles, and instructions for attacking the living ( œThe only thing more lethal than you is you on fire! ). The blood-splattered pages contain copious diagrams, such as a zombie food pyramid, pie charts of infection methods, and instructions for operating doorknobs. The illustrations are as grossly explicit as the text is employee-handbook underplayed, making this an excellent choice for the zombie completist.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
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- PublisherChicago Review Press
- Publication date2010
- ISBN 10 1569763429
- ISBN 13 9781569763421
- BindingPaperback
- Number of pages224
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Book Description Seventh Printing; Paperback. Condition: New. B&W Illustrations; 8.9 X 6.0 X 0.6 inches; xiii, 145 pages; Sot cover has a white spine with black and red lettering. 'Being undead can be disorienting. Your arms and other appendages tend to rot and fall off. It's difficult to communicate with a vocabulary limited to moans and gurgles. And that smell! (Yes, it's you . ) But most of all, you must constantly find and ingest human brains. Braaaains! ! ! What's a zombie to do? Thankfully, zombiologist John Austin details everything you need to know, as a newly undead soul, to hunt, fight, and feed on the living. As the first handbook written specifically for the undead, So Now You're a Zombie explains how you ended up in this predicament, the stages of zombification, and what you need to survive in this zombiphobic world. Dozens of helpful diagrams outline attack strategies, such as the Ghoul Reach, the Flanking Zack, the Bite Hold, and the Aerial Fall, to secure your human prey. You'll even learn how to successfully extract the living from boarded up farmhouses and broken down vehicles. This handbook also explores the upside of being a zombie. Gone are the burdens of employment, taxes, social networks, even basic hygiene, allowing you to focus on simple necessities in "life" the juicy gray matter found in the skulls of the living.' Appendix. Seller Inventory # 13409
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So Now You're a Zombie A Handbook for the Newly Undead
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Book Description Seventh Printing; Paperback. Condition: New. B&W Illustrations; 8.9 X 6.0 X 0.6 inches; xiii, 145 pages; Soft cover has a white spine with black and red lettering. 'Being undead can be disorienting. Your arms and other appendages tend to rot and fall off. It's difficult to communicate with a vocabulary limited to moans and gurgles. And that smell! (Yes, it's you . ) But most of all, you must constantly find and ingest human brains. Braaaains! ! ! What's a zombie to do? Thankfully, zombiologist John Austin details everything you need to know, as a newly undead soul, to hunt, fight, and feed on the living. As the first handbook written specifically for the undead, So Now You're a Zombie explains how you ended up in this predicament, the stages of zombification, and what you need to survive in this zombiphobic world. Dozens of helpful diagrams outline attack strategies, such as the Ghoul Reach, the Flanking Zack, the Bite Hold, and the Aerial Fall, to secure your human prey. You'll even learn how to successfully extract the living from boarded up farmhouses and broken down vehicles. This handbook also explores the upside of being a zombie. Gone are the burdens of employment, taxes, social networks, even basic hygiene, allowing you to focus on simple necessities in "life" the juicy gray matter found in the skulls of the living.' Appendix. Seller Inventory # 13707
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