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Hand-Me-Down Blues : How to Stop Depression from Spreading in Families - Hardcover

 
9781582380216: Hand-Me-Down Blues : How to Stop Depression from Spreading in Families
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A powerful, family-based approach to understanding and treating depression that goes way beyond Prozac.

Many people have been led to believe that depression is caused simply by a chemical imbalance in the brain, and as a result they look to science for convenient answers, hoping that "a capsule a day will keep depression away." Unfortunately, this narrow focus on biology and the use of medications has often led people to overlook other important influences, such as how our family can affect emotional health in powerful ways.

In Hand-Me-Down Blues, Dr. Michael Yapko carefully describes how the family can play a crucial role in the development of and recovery from depression. Parents introduce their children to various life experiences and inevitably reveal their own values, perspectives, and biases. Children typically learn to interpret life events in the same way their parents do, and their interpretations can be a basis for depression. Once depression strikes, it distorts family relationships, splintering families as it spreads from one person to another like a virus. Thus, children can "inherit" depression less from their parents' genes and more from their parents' attitudes and behaviors. Consider, for example, how the behavior of an emotionally inexpressive parent can affect a child who is hungry for eye contact, a smile, a hug and a kiss. The family that does not know its own power to hurt or heal its members is a family at risk for becoming overwhelmed and, yes, depressed.

Hand-Me-Down Blues describes the family as a powerful agent not only in the development of depression but also in its resolution. Without blame, the book shows how families can deal effectively with depression, armed with much more than a prescription. Part I describes the nature of depression, including both its biological and social origins, and introduces you to a family systems perspective-- how depression can be a reflection of what's going on in a family. Part II covers how you can acquire depression from your family, bring this negative influence unintentionally into your marriage, and unconsciously pass it along to your children. Part III offers specific methods to help diminish depression's influence on your family, including being responsible to others, building family rituals, and developing realistic expectations. Dr. Yapko's solutions show you that you are not a victim and have more power than you may realize to change unhealthy situations and other people's responses to them.

Did you learn depression from your family? Maybe. But this is one family legacy you don't have to carry on. Hand-Me-Down Blues shows how learning effective problem-solving and relationship skills can reduce and even prevent depression-- something no medication can ever do.

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Review:
Most of us have heard about the way depression can run in families, and of theories proposing a genetic predisposition to the disease. But those theories present only one side of depression--what about the behaviors and coping skills learned in families where depression is an issue? How do we identify those subtle patterns and improve our lives without resorting to "wonder drugs"? In Hand-Me-Down Blues, Dr. Michael Yapko offers help in plain and simple language. Each chapter has plenty of summarized bullet points and practical suggestions that turn a complicated topic into one easily digested by busy parents. Yapko is careful to avoid blame, adapting a "we're all in this together" attitude, and analyzes numerous life stories to demonstrate his points. In the chapter "Marriage and Depression", he relates several stories of couples dealing with depression-related problems. While clearly demonstrating how poor communication can destroy good feelings, he also shouts, "Feelings can lie"--a surprising concept in light of other authors' "feelings are facts" statements. Positive action is emphasized in every chapter--and the analytical tools to decide which action needs to be taken are provided along the way. Determining the differences between shared and individual responsibility, tolerating ambiguity while establishing healthy boundaries, and displaying adaptability are just a few of the techniques presented.

Yapko does an excellent job of showing the effects of depression in a larger context--not just family relationships, but also how family members often take their learned behaviors into school, work, and other social relationships. His practical methods for dealing with depression call for serious effort and repeat actions, but by putting just a few of his suggestions into practice, you may find yourself with stronger family relationships and a renewed sense of hope for the future. --Jill Lightner

About the Author:
Michael D. Yapko, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist and marriage and family therapist in private practice who lectures worldwide on the subject of depression. He is the author of five previous books and dozens of articles in which he describes active, skill-building interventions as vital to effective treatment of depression, including the authoritative section in the Encyclopedia Britannica's Medical and Health Annual. He is a member of the American Psychological Association and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy and a Fellow of both the Royal Society of Medicine in England and the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis. He lives with his wife near San Diego, California.

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9780312263324: Hand-Me-Down Blues: How To Stop Depression From Spreading In Families

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ISBN 10:  0312263325 ISBN 13:  9780312263324
Publisher: Golden Guides from St. Martin..., 2000
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